Comments on: Are YOU “Programmed” for Failure? http://selfesteemsecrets4women.com/blog/index.php/2005/09/09/are-you-programmed-for-failure/ Mon, 26 Jul 2010 08:47:58 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Denis Eberhart http://selfesteemsecrets4women.com/blog/index.php/2005/09/09/are-you-programmed-for-failure/comment-page-1/#comment-176 Denis Eberhart Mon, 26 Oct 2009 14:43:12 +0000 http://selfesteemsecrets4women.com/blog/?p=11#comment-176 I have a question. If you could give me insight I would be grateful. What about the parents who were so "perfect" with such high morals and standards and the child who wants to live a bit more freely. In other words, the parents belief system is different from the adult childs desired belief system. How does one get past feeling the guilt and shame everytime he trys to establish his own value system.......? I would like to "deprogram" such goodness! I have a question. If you could give me insight I would be grateful. What about the parents who were so “perfect” with such high morals and standards and the child who wants to live a bit more freely. In other words, the parents belief system is different from the adult childs desired belief system. How does one get past feeling the guilt and shame everytime he trys to establish his own value system…….? I would like to “deprogram” such goodness!

]]> By: William http://selfesteemsecrets4women.com/blog/index.php/2005/09/09/are-you-programmed-for-failure/comment-page-1/#comment-149 William Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:55:27 +0000 http://selfesteemsecrets4women.com/blog/?p=11#comment-149 Oh yeah!! I was definately the most sensitive of all the kids!! I was always the artist and musician, and of course those were always great hobbies , but never supported,because you could never make a decent living with them!! So, I believe, that that led to my being a "bucker" or black sheep of the family!! Oh yeah!! I was definately the most sensitive of all the kids!! I was always the artist and musician, and of course those were always great hobbies , but never supported,because you could never make a decent living with them!!
So, I believe, that that led to my being a “bucker” or black sheep of the family!!

]]> By: Larry Bilotta http://selfesteemsecrets4women.com/blog/index.php/2005/09/09/are-you-programmed-for-failure/comment-page-1/#comment-148 Larry Bilotta Tue, 29 Jan 2008 17:20:35 +0000 http://selfesteemsecrets4women.com/blog/?p=11#comment-148 Thanks for your comment William. Yes, there ARE buckers who had good parents. Look at the wealthy couple who raised four boys on the same value system. Three are successful but one joins a commune and lives in poverty. Why? He's a bucker. Over the years, I've questioned these buckers. What I discovered is that each son or daughter needs to be treated as unique. They NEED their father to treat them as they are, not treat them like father is or their siblings are, but to focus on them, understand their nature and support that. When a parent doesn't do this, that person (usually a very sensitive child) will rebel and launch out against the father who did not understand them. That can happen to what we call "The Black Sheep" of the family. Very possible with six to ten children in a family, right William? Thanks for your comment William. Yes, there ARE buckers who had good parents. Look at the wealthy couple who raised four boys on the same value system. Three are successful but one joins a commune and lives in poverty. Why? He’s a bucker. Over the years, I’ve questioned these buckers. What I discovered is that each son or daughter needs to be treated as unique. They NEED their father to treat them as they are, not treat them like father is or their siblings are, but to focus on them, understand their nature and support that. When a parent doesn’t do this, that person (usually a very sensitive child) will rebel and launch out against the father who did not understand them.
That can happen to what we call “The Black Sheep” of the family. Very possible with six to ten children in a family, right William?

]]> By: William http://selfesteemsecrets4women.com/blog/index.php/2005/09/09/are-you-programmed-for-failure/comment-page-1/#comment-147 William Mon, 28 Jan 2008 19:04:46 +0000 http://selfesteemsecrets4women.com/blog/?p=11#comment-147 Larry, What about the "buckers" who had good parents, but maybe were abandoned being 4th , 5th , or 6th child?? Some people refer to it as rebellion, but these patterns have been a challenge for me!! I do think we get back some of what we give out. I think god maybe teaches us mini lessons, but overall wants us to be happy and follow his will. Isn't that why we have freewill, to choose the next 10 seconds of happiness or negativity?? Thanks!! I always enjoy these!!! Larry,

What about the “buckers” who had good parents, but maybe were abandoned being 4th , 5th , or 6th child?? Some people refer to it as rebellion, but these patterns have been a challenge for me!!
I do think we get back some of what we give out. I think god maybe teaches us mini lessons, but overall wants us to be happy and follow his will. Isn’t that why we have freewill, to choose the next 10 seconds of happiness or negativity??

Thanks!! I always enjoy these!!!

]]> By: Larry Bilotta http://selfesteemsecrets4women.com/blog/index.php/2005/09/09/are-you-programmed-for-failure/comment-page-1/#comment-46 Larry Bilotta Tue, 26 Sep 2006 05:06:37 +0000 http://selfesteemsecrets4women.com/blog/?p=11#comment-46 Hello dr, Thanks for your comment about the Creator granting every person success or failure to test and see who is most true in faith regardless of how they grew up. I realize from your email that you see events in your life as being a series of tests of faith arranged by God, your Creator. Because you believe this is true, and you obviously have such conviction in this that you have even written to me to state your belief. That's pretty strong belief. If you believe this strongly, then your own life has been marked by a series of tests. Some you have failed and I assume God forgave you, and some you passed and you proved yourself to be, as you said, "the most true in faith". You've asked my response or my opinion and what I can say is that my opinion does not matter one bit. That's because we all go through life looking for people to support our own belief system. People who believe in the loving God of the Bible, usually trust and spend time with other's who believe in the living God of the Bible. People who believe in Mohammad want to trust and be around others who believe in Mohammed. If you believe that your Creator is granting you and everyone else a series of tests to find out who is the "most true in faith", then you will be reaching out to others who believe this with you. In effect, you, like most of us, want to surround ourselves with other people who support our belief systems. Who am I to say you are wrong? I can't! The most important thing (other than surrounding yourself with belief supporters) is that you live what you believe. If your God has set up a test to find out if you will forgive your cheating wife, will God allow your wife to cheat on you and be immoral in order to create this test of your faith? hould God have stopped your wife from the cheating opportunity because it was a bad thing? Should God have taken the cheating desire out of her heart? If God did those things, then he would have denied you your test of faith. If a premise like I am proposing is true, then God allows all kinds of bad things to happen to people so they will be tested and learn from these tests. Of course you know that many people are not learning from their tests. They insist on blaming, divorcing, taking family members to court, not forgiving, becoming more self centered and self absorbed. I have found that people raised by self centered people, become self centered people unless they buck this value system. The people who buck negative value systems from their parents do not know why they bucked to begin with. I think your message inferred that God will test you regardless of how you were raised. On that you will get no argument from me. Thanks for writing. Larry Bilotta Hello dr,

Thanks for your comment about the Creator granting every person success or failure to test and see who is most true in faith regardless of how they grew up.

I realize from your email that you see events in your life as being a series of tests of faith arranged by God, your Creator. Because you believe this is true, and you obviously have such conviction in this that you have even written to me to state your belief. That’s pretty strong belief.

If you believe this strongly, then your own life has been marked by a series of tests. Some you have failed and I assume God forgave you, and some you passed and you proved yourself to be, as you said, “the most true in faith”.

You’ve asked my response or my opinion and what I can say is that my opinion does not matter one bit.

That’s because we all go through life looking for people to support our own belief system.

People who believe in the loving God of the Bible, usually trust and spend time with other’s who believe in the living God of the Bible. People who believe in Mohammad want to trust and be around others who believe in Mohammed.

If you believe that your Creator is granting you and everyone else a series of tests to find out who is the “most true in faith”, then you will be reaching out to others who believe this with you.

In effect, you, like most of us, want to surround ourselves with other people who support our belief systems. Who am I to say you are wrong? I can’t!

The most important thing (other than surrounding yourself with belief supporters) is that you live what you believe.

If your God has set up a test to find out if you will forgive your cheating wife, will God allow your wife to cheat on you and be immoral in order to create this test of your faith?

hould God have stopped your wife from the cheating opportunity because it was a bad thing? Should God have taken the cheating desire out of her heart?

If God did those things, then he would have denied you your test of faith. If a premise like I am proposing is true, then God allows all kinds of bad things to happen to people so they will be tested and learn from these tests.

Of course you know that many people are not learning from their tests. They insist on blaming, divorcing, taking family members to court, not forgiving, becoming more self centered and self absorbed.

I have found that people raised by self centered people, become self centered people unless they buck this value system.

The people who buck negative value systems from their parents do not know why they bucked to begin with. I think your message inferred that God will test you regardless of how you were raised. On that you will get no argument from me.

Thanks for writing.

Larry Bilotta

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